I need HELP!
Okay, so here's the problem.... Hailee won't sleep at night.
Hailee has never been a really good sleeper. When she was about 3-6 months old, she actually would sleep for 6 hours straight. Then something happened. I don't know what, but it is getting worse. Hailee now wakes up EVERY HOUR of the NIGHT! And most of the time she just wants her BINKI! I always put several in there but she doesn't like to open her eyes to find them. I know I should probably just let her cry until she finds it, but I can't, because my parents work and have to be up early each morning.
Some nights, she will wake up around 2:30am, FULL OF ENERGY and just wants to play! So those nights I am up from 2:30am till around 5am until she decides that she wants to finally go back to sleep; for only a couple of hours, then she is wide awake and ready to PLAY again! This is seriously WIPING me out! I am always SO TIRED and feel like I have a NEWBORN again! But I don't! I have a 13 month old! She should be wanting to sleep and be able to sleep a whole night through, right?
Does anyone have any ideas? Suggestions? Books? that I should do or read to help her to sleep at night?
I really don't know what to do, besides cry every night because I am so exhausted and knowing that I won't have a break through the day either.
I would really appreciate everyones help!
Thank you so much!
Okay, so here's the problem.... Hailee won't sleep at night.
Hailee has never been a really good sleeper. When she was about 3-6 months old, she actually would sleep for 6 hours straight. Then something happened. I don't know what, but it is getting worse. Hailee now wakes up EVERY HOUR of the NIGHT! And most of the time she just wants her BINKI! I always put several in there but she doesn't like to open her eyes to find them. I know I should probably just let her cry until she finds it, but I can't, because my parents work and have to be up early each morning.
Some nights, she will wake up around 2:30am, FULL OF ENERGY and just wants to play! So those nights I am up from 2:30am till around 5am until she decides that she wants to finally go back to sleep; for only a couple of hours, then she is wide awake and ready to PLAY again! This is seriously WIPING me out! I am always SO TIRED and feel like I have a NEWBORN again! But I don't! I have a 13 month old! She should be wanting to sleep and be able to sleep a whole night through, right?
Does anyone have any ideas? Suggestions? Books? that I should do or read to help her to sleep at night?
I really don't know what to do, besides cry every night because I am so exhausted and knowing that I won't have a break through the day either.
I would really appreciate everyones help!
Thank you so much!
14 comments:
Laurie, This is Alaina (worked with Gregg at Orem Fire). I might have some books and advise that may help, but it is too much to type. If you would like send me an email and I'll let you know.
aburg3@yahoo.com
Alaina
Oh, Laurie, I am so sorry! That is awful! I don't know really what I have to say is great advice cause Reed isn't a perfect sleeper either. But, a couple months ago Reed was doing kinda the same thing and I changed the way I did things a little but also found out he had a double ear infection. So,if she is cranky at night maybe take her in to get checked just to be safe. When Reed has an ear infection he is fine during the day and cranky at night. Anyway, I always let Reed cry for atleast 15-20 mintues in the middle of the night before getting him and he usually falls back asleep. If I do get him out of the crib, I keep the lights off except for a lamp and I bring his blanky and sippy and take him down stairs. I dont really talk to him and I dont turn many lights on. Sometimes I hold him tightly and pace the floor. I started doing this cause I wanted him to know it was night time and not time to play. Even if he cries and trys to play I dont let him. After a few minutes I go lay him back down and turn on his music that he goes to sleep with. I let him cry for 10 minutes and start the cycle over until he falls asleep. That's hard if you can't let Hailee cry though. Maybe if you just did it a couple nights than she would be fine. I'm no expert though, in fact nobody really is thats the hard thing about being a Mom! Different things work for different kids. Oh, I have also found that if I keep Reed on a consistant day time nap schedule and put him to bed at the same time every night, he sleeps better! God luck Laurie, I'm sorry cause I know that is so hard!
I went through the same thing with Jocelynn and I think every mom has. I bought about 5 books on sleep and read everyone of them. You can borrow them if you want. JOcelynn was never a good sleeper until she was about 10 - 11 months old. She would sleep for 30 minutes during the day and would wake up all throughout the night. I found that when I put her on a consistent nap schedule during the day, she slept better at night. Someone told me sleep = more sleep and that has been true for her. If she wakes up after a 30 minute nap, I let her cry for about 20 minutes and she usually goes back to sleep. During the night if she cries I don't go see her right away, I wait a little bit because she used to get so used to me responding to her right away, she would wake up all the time for me. I know what your going through though and I got a little emotional because I understand how it is!!!! It is hard. Maybe you can talk to your parents about your situation and see if for three days you can let her cry in the night for 10- 20 minutes. I remember crying all the time because I was so exhausted. I also do the same thing every night with her before we go to bed so she knows its time to sleep. I give her a bath and read her books. Let me know if you want the books. THey're pretty interesting. I'll be thinking of u. Let me know if I can watch Hailee during the day so you can sleep, seriously.
Laurie- Although our babies are totally different ages, I seriously sympathize with you! Like as in, I hate going to sleep at night because I know I will be up all the time! I am so sorry you are going through this- and even more sorry that I dont have advice to give because I havent been through it with a 13 month old yet. But, when you find the solution= i'm sure I"ll be asking the same question in 8 months. I think thats the hardest thing about living with other people- you cant do what you would normally do with your baby because you are worried about waking up someone else or bothering them. Ok... this is getting so much longer than I expected! So, all i can give you is support- hang on!
Ok I will type it here...I thought it would be too long of a post, but oh well. My daughter has been an awesome sleeper, but I am a big believer that it comes from "training" or "teaching" them basically. A really good book to start off with is called "the baby whisperer" by Tracy Hogg....it is awesome! You can also get on the website wwww.babywhisperer.com and there are message boards with people and usually similar experiences, that may help (I looked at that plenty with sleeping problems). I really needed my daughter to be a good sleeper because I was going to be going back to work (24hr shifts) and she would be home with dad. In the book listed above she talks about how sleeping is a LEARNED skill, which makes sense. You learn how to comfort yourself to go to sleep, which in your girls case, right now her comfort item is the binki...(my daughter had one too and I loved it). What happens is she gets into her REM sleep and then is disturbed or moves and wakes up enough and she is dependant on needing the binki to go back to sleep because that is how she has "learned" to fall back to sleep. So she will continue doing this until she learns to get the binki, or until you have her learn to fall alseep on her own...I would take the binki away. I took Koya's away at 11months and it took 2 nights, of letting her cry for about 15 min, on time and she then had learned another method to comfort herself and fall asleep, so when she wakes up at night she can go back to sleep. (is this making sense?) I would take the binki away and then you can do what she talks about in the book, you go in when she cries pat her on her back, don't talk to them, and if she stands up just lay her right back down and pat her, when she is almost asleep then walk away, if she cries then return and do it again. You may do this over and over maybe for hours but I promise it gets better as the days go, and in a couple days she will learn how to fall asleep on her own. Some random nights when Koya would have a bad night I would stand by her crib, or by her door, or even just outside her door, so she could see me, then after a couple days I could move away and she would be back on track going to sleep again. Anyways I would check that book out and even the website, let me know how it goes! Good luck!
You HAVE HAVE HAVE to get the book "12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks"
I used that with Kami, and I'm going to use it with Tanner, and it totally works and she NEVER gets up at night. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months. I know Hailee is older, so it might take her a little longer to break the habit - but that is all it is - she is in the habit of getting up at night and you need to re-train her to sleep through the night and not need YOU to get her back to sleep even if she wakes up.
Trust me - it totally works if you stick to the method. I can't believe you are dealing with that - how incredibly hard! I would go crazy! Having a newborn is hard enough on me (I am such a zombie lately without sleep - it's awful) - and that book saved me!
That's my best advice - good luck!
If I were you I would talk to your mom and Dad and see if it is ok to let Hailee cry for 3 nights. All it takes is 3 nights, I promise! With Kaelyn I would start off letting her cry for 5 minutes, then go to 10 minutes, and make it a little longer each time. I would just go in, lay her back down, giver her her pacifier, and walk right out. She would scream, but then eventually fall asleep. That worked for her, but every baby is different.
I think what everyone else said about not going in right away is also true- she knows that you will be right there at the first cry! Good luck, you have lots of good advice- hopefully something works!
Olivia did this at 9 months and I WANTED TO DIE!! She was the best sleeper ever until one day she decided she wasn't going to do it anymore.
We had probably 2 weeks where I tried everything- crying it out, going in and helping her, just letting her sleep with me and nothing was working. I'm not kidding, a couple of those nights I just cried along with her. I was SO frustrated. What I realized was, I wasn't being consistent at all. Some nights I would try to let her cry, others I would go in and pick her up. I think consistency is the number one key.
I prayed one night and said, "Heavenly Father, I cannot live like this. I have decided to let her cry and learn to comfort herself (she also relied on her binky). Please help me be consistent and stick to my plan and PLEASE help Olivia pick it up quickly."
The first night Olivia cried for 3 hours straight. Seriously nonstop and I was dying listening to her. It was the hardest night. The second night she cried maybe 5 minutes and the third less than 30 seconds.
She still occasionally wakes up and cries at night, but I never have to go in because she knows how to put her self back to sleep. It was the best thing I ever did!
I hope everything works out for you. I swear, figuring out sleep is the hardest part about being a mom with a baby. GOOD LUCK!
I am soooo sorry. I wish I had some magical words of wisdom. But if you can't let her cry at night, I really don't know what to say. In a book I read it said that kids can get into a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and the way to break that habit is to make them work through it and fall back asleep. But that means letting them cry. I do however agree that with some of the other comments that you should try to not let Hailee play in the middle of the night. If she seems wide awake and wanting to play, keep it quiet and dark anyway. Either talk softly to her or don't talk at all, and she should mellow down. She needs to know that night time is time to sleep and only time to sleep.
Good luck. Hang in there. These phases never last forever.
I am so sorry! Gwen is 11 months and still wakes up once a night but just for her paci or reassurance that I am near her. Um...I too can't let her cry it out because her and Daylen are sharing a bedroom at the moment. But, she is only up for like 30 seconds and that right back to sleep.
Mu suggestion would be to make sure she isn't sick and then maybe reduce her napping. Instead of her napping for 2 hours maybe make it for an hour. That is something you can try. That would be hard to do because every mom looks forward to those naps during the day. This too shall pass!!!!
I am sorry. Getting up in the middle of the night is really the pits. I read through just about everything I would say someone did. I would talk to your parents. Also if she doesn't have like a stuffed animal or blanket to comfort her try that too. Good luck.
All I can offer is my sympathy since I don't have children yet! Good luck with all the advice, you should right a follow up post about what methods worked when they do! Love ya, Em
I agree with everything that has been said! Try doing it on a weekend when your parents don't have to go to work. Also, Andrew had a binky and I would leave his binky chain on at night, (i know, choking hazard, but when they are that big and the chain isn't that long, I think its fine) that way he could find it in the middle of the night. It took him 3 nights of crying and the longest he cried was like 15 minutes. I hated every minute of it! so I would call my mom on the phone and distract myself and before our conversation was even over he was asleep. I have been doing that with Zack lately too. I still give him a bottle when he wakes up and he is 17 months old! So lately I have just been letting him cry and after like 10 mins he's out again. He has been sleeping through the night! It took 2 maybe 3 days. Are you guys sharing a room? Cause that changes things if you are. Good luck! I understand!
Derek did that a little bit. I know it sucks, but you just have to try to let her cry... if it goes on more than 30 minutes then I would go get her. But keep it quiet and dark. Tell her it's night night time and maybe rock her a little and then do not talk. That was what everyone told me. Put her back in bed and see what happens. Hopefully it's just a short stage she's going through.
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